St. Patrick's Day Schtick (Blarney)

I always have fun catching people who on St. Patrick's Day have failed to wear green. I don't ever actually pinch anyone but I do threaten to do so in a kidding type of way. Here are some ways to have fun with it.

1) Hold forth that you are kind of like a doctor and that the threatened pinching is simply akin to a common medical procedure. Further claim that this is a procedure for which you have trained and that you have performed the procedure many times previously. Your patient (victim) can be confident that they will be in good hands.

2) Try to expand upon the idea of establishing a practitioner-patient relationship. Acknowledge that during the intended procedure (pinching) the patient might experience some discomfort and that you as a concerned practitioner will truly want to hear some feedback. Imply that if the patient screamed or squealed that that would help you (the practitioner) in determining the pinching regimen. Explain that you consider practitioner-patient feedback to be very important. The simple short pinch is now expanded to a time absorbing regimen.

3) Acknowledge that the patient might too nervous to receive their pinching right away and then volunteer that you could perhaps fit them in for a 2 o'clock appointment.

4) Hold your hands awkwardly like they were crab claws.

5) Just think of the different things your doctor might say to you, then apply them in funny ways to the pinching situation.

Note, you might be doing this with co-workers and so I do not advise actually pinching anyone. Keep it light and innocuous.